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20 September 2008 @ 10:54 pm
INSTALLING A HUSBAND  


Current mood: ditzy

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

        Dear Tech Support,

        Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.
0 and noticed a
        distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and
        jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.


        In addition, Husband 1.
0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
        Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.
5 and then installed undesirable
        programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.


        Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.
6 simply crashes the
        system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.


        What can I do?

        Signed, Desperate


        Dear Desperate:

        First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.
0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
        1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: 'I Thought You Loved
        Me.exe' and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget toinstall the Guilt  3.0 update.


        If that application works as designed, Husband 1.
0 should then automatically
        run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.


        But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.
0 to
        default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.
1 is a
        very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.


        Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.
0 (it runs a virus in the
        background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).


        Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are
        unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.


        In summary, Husband 1.
0 is a great program, but it does have limited 
        memory and not learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying
        additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.
0
        and Hot Lingerie 7.7.


        Good Luck, Tech Support